Takin’ it back with this one – while attending TCU in Ft. Worth, I waited tables & tended bar (not very well) at a great local spot known as Micheal’s.  This place was more fun than I will ever openly discuss – it was a hell of a place to eat & drink too.  Stick around and I’m sure you’ll come across some of it’s greatest hits as this Babble rambles along.  Today, you get Penne Borachita – I ate this dish no less than 4 times a week for the better part of 3 years. So here ya go…

Penne Borrachita
First, you’ll need a large can of Roasted Bell Peppers (preferably whole & not in oil).  Drain the liquid (oil or water) and place the peppers into a bowl.  Pour 2 cups of QUALITY vodka (I like Stoli or Kettle to cook) over the peppers and leave them n the counter while you get the other crap ready for the dish.

For the protein, you can take your pick – grilled shrimp, chicken, scallops, pork loin, veal chop, or sea-bass (I’d steer clear of salmon but that just because I don’t care for salmon).

Next take 1 medium sized yellow onion and cut it into thin 1/4″ slices.  Do the same with 2 red bell peppers.  Mince 2-3 cloves of fresh garlic.  Get a medium or large fry pan on the stove over med-high heat.  Add 2-3 tablespoons of oil and toss in your onion and peppers.  Cook for 4-5 minutes stirring continuously and then toss in the minced garlic.  Once the onion and garlic becomes translucent – remove the roasted bells from the vodka and pour the liquid into the fry pan.  Cook until the vodka is 90% evaporated (caution if you’re using a gas stove – vodka is FLAMMABLE!)  In a blender, puree the peppers until completely smooth.  After the booze has cooked off, stir in 2 cups of heavy cream and continue cooking.  Stir in your pureed peppers – use as much or as little as you desire (this means add some, taste it, add some taste it, etc).  Season the sauce to your liking – salt, pepper, Slavo Salt – you know.

While your cream sauce is thickening on the stove you want to have a pot of boiling-seasoned water going for the pasta. When cooking pasta the trick is your water should be “salty like the sea.”  For this recipe I like to use either penne or rigatoni pasta because the hold the sauce so well – gnocchi wouldn’t be too shabby either.

Toss your cooked pasta, protein, and sauce together.  Sprinkle some good parmesan cheese and a little chopped basil or parsley.

With this I recommend a nice Pinot Noir or Merlot wine.  Enjoy

Cheers- Slavo

So I don’t typically care for bacon wrapped scallops and almost never order them – which is odd considering my sincere lust for both ingredients.  The reason being, 99% of the time the scallops are over-cooked when wrapped in bacon.  In fact, I rarely order scallops at all because I’ve found that they’re generally over-cooked in most restaurants in my opinion – with numerous exceptions of course.  But really, I think this is the reason that so many people dislike the lovely bivalves.  Which, in a way is good because if everybody shared my love for these little nuggets of pleasure – I’m sure we’d rape the sea floor to their demise and we are already doing enough damage there.

Take my word you can eat these things raw and they taste phenomenal.  So when you’re cooking them – take it easy chief.  I prepare mine and have converted many friends to eating them essentially seared around the outside and just warmed in the middle – MAX.  So in this recipe to avoid the metallic – gritty scallops we’re so used to eating the key is to use the thinnest bacon you can find.  If you have an old school butcher like the Italian guy at 16th Street & Bethany in phoenix – go in and have him slice it for you.  Yeah, that was my plug to support your local butcher – supermarkets do not count as your local butcher by the way.

Alrighty, so you have your thin sliced bacon – now get your scallops.  FYI – for the most part all scallops are previously frozen but if you can find them fresh go for it!  Anywhoo, you want to buy U-10 or U-12 scallops.  This is the size designation, basically means that in 1 pound you’ll get 10 or 12 scallops – the lower the number the bigger the scallops.  Often they are called colossal – point of the story buy the biggest bastards you can get your hands on.

First things first – turn your grill on HIGH HEAT before you start prepping the scallops.  Ok, scallops & bacon in hand – now all you need is Slavo Salt and we’re ready to make it happen.  Bla Bla Bla – no selfless promotion – this shit seals the deal.  Alright, pay attention.  Lightly season your scallops all around with Slavo Salt – no need to be excessive just lightly dust the little bastards.  You’re going to use 1 piece of bacon for every 3-4 scallops in this recipe.  I typically like to serve 3 scallops if there are a lot of other components to the meal, i.e. apps, salad, soup, etc.  If it’s a simple one dish meal then go with 4 scallops each.

Lay your bacon out on the cutting board and place your first scallop on top of the end of the bacon.  Next, wrap the bacon snuggly around the top of the scallop like a “C” around the scallop.  Now place your next scallop on top of the first scallop – again wrap your bacon over the top of the second scallop – making a “S” with the bacon around the scallops.  Repeat this with your remaining scallops.  Last, place a skewer through the center of the scallops.  When you’re done the skewer, bacon and scallops should look like a $ symbol from the side.  Got it?  Great now repeat this process for the number of guest you’re serving. 

So your grill should be rippin’ hot by now.  Place your scallop kababs on the grill with one of the “exposed bacon sides” down.  Leave it just like that for about 1 minute – then turn it over gently 180ºs so the other “exposed bacon side” is down on the grill.  Just a warning, bacon has a lot of fat (no kidding) so there are going to be some flare-ups and that’s fine just don’t allow the scallops to be completely engulfed in flames or they’ll taste like sooty-crap.  Cook the scallops on the second side for about another minute.  The bacon should begin to develop nice color and no longer look raw.  If needed flip them back over to the first side and cook another minute.  This entire cooking process should take no longer that 4 minutes over a screaming hot grill and you’re only placing the ”exposed bacon sides” on the grill.  So after the 4 minutes of cooking, pull the kebabs off the grill and allow them to “rest” on a plate for approxamently 5 minutes (scallops will carry-over cook just like a steak or roast will).  Remove the skewer before serving.

I love hearing from friends and family about what they’re thinking will be on the menu for the big Holiday Supper.  Getting some new tips and sharing others – I can’t talk about sports so yeah that’s pretty much all I’m bringing to the table.  With the brutal weather bitch-slapping our country currently, it sounds like frying the turkey outside isn’t sounding so promising (FYI – snow flakes and rain don’t mix well with screaming hot oil!).  I like this time of year because people are trying new recipes and eager to discuss victories and train-wrecks.  I went out on a limb this year – I baked…I fukn hate baking far too scientific, but I was give a recipe I’ve chased for nearly a decade.  (Nailed it!)

Speaking of train-wrecks – PLEASE PLEASE take it easy while driving over the course of the next couple of weeks.  Seriously gang, chill out when driving and watch-out for the jackasses that aren’t.  It rained today in Phoenix and the traffic would have made you think there was some kind of hurricane evacuation going on.  Really, really people, 80% of you aren’t even from here so you should understand that incremental weather does not invoke a new set of traffic laws and it sure as shit should not be incentive to drive like more of an asshole.  Sorry, I just needed to remind some folks apparently.

Here’s your Weekly Dish on this Christmas week.  Goat Cheese – Mushroom Duxelle Stuffed Beef Tenderloin with Truffled Mascarpone Whippers and Balsamic Braised Brussel Sprouts.

For the mushroom mix you’re going to need – what ever shrooms your market has other than the bastard white button ones (they truly bring nothing to the table as far as flavor is concern ).  I like to use the Cremini’s(baby bella’s), Chantrelles, Oyster, Morels, portabellas etc. – the more different the better.  Get a total of 2#s of shrooms, 2 large shallots, 3 cloves of fresh garlic and 4-6oz of Cherve Goat Cheese.  You want to mince the shrooms, garlic, & shallots all separately.  Get a large fry pan over high heat.  Add 2 tablespoons of grape-seed oil along with the shallots.  Cook for 3 minutes stirring regularly and then toss in the garlic.  Cook for an additional 2 minutes and toss in the shrooms – continue cooking over high heat for 10 minutes.  Add in 3 tablespoons of butter (because butter makes EVERYTHING taste better), season lightly with Slavo Salt while the remaining mixture cooks off and continue stirring.  There should be minimal moisture left in the mixture and the volume will have condensed significantly – this is the game plan for duxelle.  Allow the shrooms to cool a bit – then stir in 8oz of Cherve goat cheese and mix really well.  Place into your pastry bag and keep at room temperature.  get one of the good canvas ones you can get one at a store like Sur a Table or William Sonoma or a restaurant/bakery supply would be the best place (screw those over priced joints).

Okay so unless you’ve got some solid butchery experience – you’re going to want to have the butcher clean up the “head” (thickest end(insert crass comments here)) of the tenderloin.  Next you want to take your steel (the long metal spike in your knife block that you’re never quite sure how to use properly).  Essentially,  you want to impale the tenderloin lengthwise with the steel rod – right down the middle.  (Warning there are going to be a plethora of comments to be made in the coming lines – so go ahead and insert your own. I’m actually going to refrain.)  Now work the rod around – you are looking to expand the diameter of the hole.  Try to make it as stretched out as you can so you cram it full with more of the Duxelle.

To fill the tenderloin you are going to need a pastry bag.  If you use a pastry tip make sure it has a tip big enough to stick your finger through – other wise go without and just cram it in there…(told you unlimited possibilities for the Peanut Gallery).  To use a pastry bag you want to fill it up and twist off the open end – squeeze it from the back until it starts coming out of the tip.  Insert and squeeze.  Fill the cavity in the tenderloin you created with the steel reaming with your mixture of mushroom & goat cheese.  If it seems too difficult to pass through the bag, put the pastry bag/mixture into the microwave for 15-20 seconds to loosen up the mixture.  Massage the mixture through the piece of meat so you fill it with as much of the mix as possible.  Wipe the tenderloin clean when you finish filling the cavity.

Get your biggest frying pan hot as hell on the stove-top.  Season the tenderloin EXCESSIVELY with Slavo Salt and some extra cracked pepper.   Once your fry pan is rippin’ hot add a few tablespoons of grape-seed oil to it to coat the pan’s bottom.  Gently lay the tenderloin into the pan going in the direction away from you (as to avoid splashing hot oil on yourself).  Sear the crap out of the tenderloin over HIGH HEAT on all sides.  Searing isn’t gray – searing is a dark carmel brown by the way!!!  Once the tenderloin is seared, in the same pan into a preheated 500° oven.  This is the tricky part – HOW LONG DO YOU COOK IT???  First of all, you can eat beef tenderloin raw (unless you’re pregnant, have some crazy medical condition or have a weak immune system (BTW cooking it doesn’t remove any of the chemicals, antibiotics, or genetic modification that animal may have been subjected to…)).  I would err on the side of under-cooking the meat as opposed to over cooking it – aka 10 minutes in the oven MAXIMUM in my humble opinion and that is a hell of a stretch.  After the decided time frame remove the tenderloin from the oven and let it rest on the counter-top 10 minutes before cutting into it.

For the taters – I like to use Yukon gold potatoes for my mashed taters.  They don’t have the gritty texture that Russet(the big brown ones) do.  Peel 5 taters, you can cut them up or leave whole, but if you cut them try to make all the pieces relatively the same size so they cook evenly.  Start w/ cold water.  Never drop taters into boiling water.  And there’s no need to salt the water either.  To see if the taters are done cooking, take a sharp knife and stab one of the chunks, lift it vertically straight up and if the chuck slips off the end they’re done.  Now drain the water out, toss in 1 stick of butter (this is a little excessive if you’re a health freak – you could go w/ ½ a stick but I wouldn’t) and toss in about 1 cup of Mascarpone, 2-3tablespoons of truffle oil (white or black – doesn’t matter) and add about ¼ cup of milk.  Now personally I prefer to use a hand mixer, you know the one you plug in w/ the 2 beaters… Whip the potatoes until just smooth, but don’t overwork them b/c they’ll become gummy and gummy potatoes are mediocre at best!  Now taste them. What do they need in your opinion: salt, pepper, Slavo Salt, truffle oil, or more milk to loosen them up???

On to the Brussels!  First thing you want to do is cut the base off of each sprout because this part is generally more fibrous and tough.  Next, you’re going to rough chop the raw sprouts – along with 1 yellow onion small diced and set aside.  Now you need to small dice 1/2# of bacon and toss it into a fry pan over medium heat and render the fat.  Once the bacon starts to crisp up you want to throw in the onions and cook for another 5-7 minutes.  Now add the chopped sprouts and 1/2 cup of butter.  Cook on the stove for another few minutes until the leaves are wilted.  Add in 1 cup of chicken broth and simmer until the liquid is reduced by 75%.  Season with Slavo Salt and taste.  Now stir in about 3-4 tablespoons of balsamic vinegar and 1 cup of shredded Parmesan cheese. Ready to serve!

To accompany this I say bring out a big gun – Earthquake Petite Syrah.

Oh and this is actually what my family’s having on Christmas Eve.  Along with a Blackberry Swirl Cheesecake that I promised the very very talented chef that gave the recipe to me after several years of shameless pleading that I wouldn’t ever publish or give it out.

Thai Spiced Brussel Sprouts

I love Brussels they are one of my very favorite veggies and a holiday staple.  This recipe is a twist on brussels adding a bit of “kick.”  Take 2 pounds of fresh brussel sprouts, with a paring knife – trim the bottom off of each sprout (this is the white/brownish base where the leaves come together).  Cut about 2 millimeters or so clean off, you’ll lose a few leaves and this is OK.  Now in the base of the sprout, cut a small cross with your knife – this doesn’t need to be super deep, this just ensure they cook evenly.    Get a pot of salted water boiling and have a large bowl of Ice water ready as well.  Next drop the sprouts into the boiling SALTED water for about 3-4 minutes, then pull them out and place in the ice water.  Repeat until all the sprouts have been cooked and chilled (just a reminder this process is called BLANCHING).  

Now cut each of the sprouts in half lengthwise and place into a large bowl.  Season the bowl of sprouts with SLAVO SALT and squeeze in about 2-4 tablespoons of Siracha Chile Sauce (this needs to be in your pantry along with its chunky cousin Sambal, they are in red jars with green lids in the Asian section of your local market – I use this shit on everything!).  Depending on how hot you want this food to turn out gauge the amount of Siracha you use – this stuff can lite you up!  I suggest starting with 2 tablespoons for the first time you make this dish.  Now toss the brussells around so that all are mixed well with the Siracha and SLAVO SALT.

Next, place the sprouts on a greased cookie sheet pan and pop into a preheated 350° oven for approxamently 10 minutes.  Pull one out and taste it, they should be firm but not crunchy or hard.  Season with more SLAVO SALT if necessary.

Green Beans Almadine

This is an old classic and so much better than the green bean casserole you usually get at Thanksgiving.  Take 2 pounds of fresh green beans and wash them well (just a note – always was all your veggies, even if the bag says they’ve been washed because most likely they were washed with some sort of chemical cocktail).  Trim the ends off the beans – really you only need to trim the end that was connected to the stalk but I’m not looking to confuse anybody today. 

Next, have a pot of boiling SALTED water going and have a bowl of ice water standing by.  Dump half of the beans into the water and cook about 1 minute.  Pull one out and bite into it, it should be slightly tender but not soft and not overly crunchy.  Place the cooked beans into the ice water and repeat with the second half of your beans.

In a saute pan heat 3 tablespoons of olive oil and 3 tablespoons of butter (don’t give me that shit – it’s the holidays!). Toss in 3 tablespoons of minced garlic and cook over medium high heat until the garlic is tender and barely browning.  Remove from heat and set aside.

Preheat your oven to 350°.  Take 1 cup of sliced almonds (these are the flat oval shaped ones not the sticks, I always get sliced and slivered mixed up so don’t sweat it if you get the wrong ones).  Spread the almonds out on a dry cookie sheet and pop it into the oven.  Remember to keep and eye on these because like pine nuts from last week’s entry – they’ll burn in seconds!  Cook until barely browned maybe 3-4 minutes.  If you overcook them throw them out and start over because they’ll taste bitter and shity.

Now place you saute pan with the garli -oil-butter on the stove over medium high heat.  toss in your blanched green beans and almonds cook until the beans are nice and hot.  Stir constantly so you don’t burn the garlic.  Season with kosher salt and serve!

Mama Stanburg’s Famos Cranberry Relish

This is an old school recipe that was originally published in the New York Time in 1959 I tried it a couple years ago and it’s actually really good.  I was reminded about it from a story on NPR.  So here it is:

This relish has a tangy taste that cuts through and perks up the turkey and gravy. It’s also good on next-day turkey sandwiches and with roast beef.

Ingredients

* 2 cups whole raw cranberries, washed

* 1 small onion

* 3/4 cup sour cream

* 1/2 cup sugar

* 2 tablespoons horseradish from a jar (“red is a bit milder than white”)

Instructions

Grind the raw berries and onion together. (“I use an old-fashioned meat grinder,” Stamberg says. “I’m sure there’s a setting on the food processor that will give you a chunky grind, not a puree.”)

Add everything else and mix.

Put in a plastic container and freeze.

Early Thanksgiving morning, move it from freezer to refrigerator compartment to thaw. (“It should still have some little icy slivers left.”)

The relish will be thick, creamy and shocking pink. (“OK, Pepto Bismol pink.”)

Makes 1 1/2 pints.

So can you really cook?  Or are you one of those folks that your friends smile and nod and say “wow what a good meal” – only to mock your barely edible shat you threw down yet again…?  Well here is a dish that will silence the critics and you don’t need to be Alice Waters pull it off.  This is a pretty simple meal that produces fantastic results – Pork Roast with Cranberry-Pinot Sauce.

So for the sauce you want to small dice (as small as you can get them) half of a yellow onion and mince 3 cloves of garlic.  Now in a sauce pot, add 4 Tablespoons of butter along with the onions and garlic.  Cook over medium heat until the onions become translucent.  Next toss in 3/4 cup of dried cranberries and cook an additional 3-4 minutes.  Pour in 1 bottle of Pinot Noir wine (try to avoid using super cheap wine – the sauce will taste cheap as a result) and 1/2 can of beef broth or demi glace if you’ve got some just laying around.   Continue cooking over medium high heat until reduced in volume by half.  Next add 1 can of cranberry sauce (yeah that crazy red shit that holds the form of the can) and continue cooking for 10 minutes stirring constantly.  At this point the sauce should begin to thicken up a bit, if not add in a little corn-starch slurry ((corn-starch and red wine mix them into a think liquid) not too much though - the sauce shouldn’t have the consistency of honey or anything).  Lastly stir in a couple tablespoons of butter to give the sauce a nice look.  Be sure to taste the sauce if it’s too tart add some maple syrup or honey, too thick add more wine, etc.

Now for the pork roast, I use a 4 rib standing roast because it looks great and feeds a good sized group (you can use the bones later to make some killer pinto beans or give them to your dog as a special holiday treat).  If you want, have the butcher cut the roast off the “rack” and tie it back on – this makes slicing really easy.  Or if you’re wanting to really sex it up – have him “French” the bones like in the picture.  So you want to season all sides of the roast really well with SLAVO SALT and cracked black pepper.  Get either a large fry pan or if you have a heavy bottom roasting pan use that – get it really hot on the stove top.  Add in a couple tablespoons of grape-seed oil.  Now carefully sear the roast really well on all sides – the goal here is to get nice carmel color all around.  After searing, place the roast in your roasting pan and into a 400° pre-heated oven.  Cook the roast until you get an internal temp of 115° – this takes maybe 40 minutes, but use a thermometer to make sure you don’t over-cook it!  Remove from the oven and allow the roast to sit out uncovered for approximately 15 minutes – DO NOT give into temptation and cut into it right away!  After resting, cut the roast away from the ribs and slice it into 1/2 inch thick pieces.   And here’s a trick – all those juices that are release from the meat resting & being cut – pour into the sauce and stir in!!!

Serve with your favorite starch and veggies.  I’d stay with the Pinot Noir wine to accompany this dish too – I like Pinots from the Columbia Valleys in Oregon and Washington the best!!!

Fact:  Short ribs kick ass!!!  Over the past several years chefs have come back to this old faithful – it’s like gourmet pot roast.  And best of all it is hella easy to make for a big group, doesn’t cost too much and taste superfuknfantastic!

This recipe is pretty easy seriously and turns out mighty nice.  The beauty of braising meat is you can’t really screw it up – “slow & low” is the name of the game.

In a braising pan this is basically a brownie pan on roids – get it?  If you don’t have a braising pan that’s ok just cook everything in a large fry pan and transfer into a brownie pan before putting into the oven.

Season about 2-5 pounds of beef short-ribs all over with Slavo Salt – no need to be shy with your seasoning.  Get you pan real hot over high heat, then add a couple tablespoons of GRAPESEED OIL – enough to just coat the pan.  Slowly lay the seasoned short-ribs into the hot oil – don’t over crowd the pan because you will not be able to sear the meat as well.  After you have browned the meat on all sides remove them from the pan and set aside.  Next, throw in 2 medium yellow onions, 3 carrots, 3 stalks of celery and 4 cloves of fresh garlic – all rough chopped (don’t make it pretty unless you just want to practice which you probably should) into the hot pan you just removed the meat from.  Stir the veggies constantly – saute these veggies for a few minute or until the onions become translucent.  Then toss in 1/3 cup of tomato paste and continue cooking for 3-4 more minutes.

Now you want to pour in  1.5 – 2 bottles of an $8 dollar red wine – I used Vicious Petite Syrah and it turned out really nice.  Add 2 cans of beef broth in with the veggies and wine – cook for 10 minutes still over high heat on the stove-top.  Add the seared short-ribs back into the simmering pan of goodness – shake them deep into the liquid.  Cover with foil and place in a 275° oven.  Cook for 4 hours – then remove and place in the fridge until you area ready to serve.  I say this because they will be better the next day, seriously they’ll taste fantastic right out of the oven but just pull off a little chunk to snack on.  You will be rewarded immensely tomorrow!

Take the chilled pan out of the fridge, remove the short-ribs from the pan carefully.  Now there is going to be a layer of fat (yeah fat, that why this shit tastes so good) – using your hand or a big spoon gently remove the fat layer from the pan and discard.  Next heat the remaining contents of the pan over the stove top for a few minute stirring constantly.  Now using some sort of straining device – separate the onion, carrot, and celery from the liquid (as much as I hate to say it, but you can skip this step – straining it just is sexier).  Combine the strained sauce and short-ribs back into the original pan you cooked everything in.  About 1.5 hours before you are planning to serve – put the short ribs in the pan and into a 450° oven covered with foil.  They should be nice and hot when you’re ready to serve.

I like serving these babies with mashed potatoes (mascarpone, bleu cheese, garlic, etc.) and some kind of green veggies (Brussel Sprouts, Asparagus, spinach, arugula, etc.)  Place the starch on the plate, next your veggies, then the meat on top and finally spoon the cooking liquid from the meat pan over the top of everything.

I recommend a good full bodied red wine for this like Sequoia Grove Cabernet with this.  And just a tip, I think Sequoia Grove is not as cheap as it used to be.  So just get one bottle of that – then multiple bottles of lesser known wines.  After the first couple glasses they all taste the same – truth.

Cheers.  Slavo

The Weekly Dish – Prime Rib Sunday Supper

Prime rib is not cheap unfortunately, therefore I recommend keeping an eye out in the paper for butcher’s specials.  Typically it is sold by the number of ribs attached.  I recommend not going for anything less than four ribs – this stuff makes incredible leftovers if there’s actually anything left.  Ask the butcher to cut it off the bone and tie it back on – he will know exactly what you’re talking about if you don’t.

Preheat your oven to 475° and get one rack placed in the dead center of the oven.  Place your roast in a roasting pan – if you don’t have one, you can use a sheet pan but make sure it has at least a 1″ lip (so you don’t lose any juices when moving it around).  Lightly drizzle olive oil over the roast and using your hands, smear over every square inch of delicious carnage.  Next, season the hell out of it with Slavo Salt – I mean use 3 times what you would use if you were seasoning a steak.  The idea is to create a kind of a crust here.  I prefer to add some extra cracked black pepper here, I think it makes a big difference.

Now, place your roast (in the pan) in the oven and shut the door.  Cook for 20 minutes at 475°, then reduce the oven temp to 350°.  Cook an additional hour and fifteen minutes at 350°.  At this point (after the alotted time) stick a meat thermometer into the center of the roast.  You are looking for an internal temperature of 105-115° – once you get in that range, pull the roast out of the oven and let it sit on the counter top uncovered for no less than 20 minutes (no it is not going to get cold)!

Don’t Forget The Gravy!

Remove the roast from the pan you cooked it in after the 20 minute rest and place on a cutting board.  The pan is going to have a bunch of crusty particles and fat(grease) floating in it, you can remove some of the grease if you want.  Add 2 beef boulion cubes and 3-4 cups of hot water to the roasting pan over your stovetop on medium heat.  Stirring constantly, bring this mixture to a simmer for about 7 minutes or so.  Now take about 3-4 tablespoons of cornstarch in a small bowl and add about 2 tablespoons of cold water to the starch and mix well.  This is called a slurry, you can use flour too but I prefer corn starch for sauce making.  Your slurry should have a thick yet runny consistency – not pastey.  With a wisk slowly stir in the slurry to the simmering broth – stir constantly and well to eliminate the chance of starch lumps.  After a couple minutes your gravy will begin to thicken up.  If it gets too thick add some more water – too thin and add more slurry.  TASTE IT! Adjust your seasoning w/ Slavo Salt.  One thing you want to make sure is that you cannot taste the starch – I don’t know how to describe the flavor but it shouldn’t taste “floury.”  If your gravy doesn’t turnout very good – don’t serve it!  Prime rib can stand solo very well and you don’t want to ruin a great slab of beef with a crappy gravy.

Take half of a yellow onion and small dice it.  Put a small pot on the stove at medium high heat with 1/4 cup(half a stick) of butter.  As the butter begins to melt – add in the diced onion.  Stir your onion and butter around until the onion becomes translucent.  At this point add in some flour, enough to make a light paste (less than 1/4cup).  Stir over the heat for 1-2 minutes.  Now add in 1 pint of cream or milk – your call.  Continue stirring and cooking over the heat.  The sauce will begin to thicken – if it starts turning to paste add a little more milk.  Total cook time with cream/milk should be about 10 minutes.  Think cream sauce at your favorite Italian joint – this should have that consistency.  Now season to taste with Slavo Salt – yes stick your finger in it and taste it.  If it taste grainy or like raw flour, cook it longer.  This sauce should not taste bland!!! If it does add more seasoning to it, even a squeeze of lemon.  Next you want to put your rinsed fresh spinach (about 2 pounds or more) into a bowl and pour about half of the cream sauce onto the spin.  Stir the cream and spinach together – you want a creamed spinach consistency – use common sense.  If it need more cream then add it, if it needs more seasoning then add it.  An option here if you want, add in some grated Parmesan cheese – be careful though because Parma is salty so keep that in mind…  You don’t want to do all this work and fumble on the 5 yard line by over salting.

For the potatoes…

I like to use Yukon gold potatoes for my mashed taters.  They don’t have the gritty texture that Russet(the big brown ones) do.  Peel 5 taters, you can cut them up or leave whole, but if you cut them try to make all the pieces relatively the same size so they cook evenly.  Start w/ cold water.  Never drop taters into boiling water.  And there’s no need to salt the water either.  To see if the taters are done cooking, take a sharp knife and stab one of the chunks, lift it vertically straight up and if the chuck slips off the end they’re done.  Now drain the water out, toss in 1 stick of butter (this is a little excessive if you’re a health freak – you could go w/ ½ a stick but I wouldn’t) and toss in about 1/3 cup of blue cheese (I prefer Roqueforts blue cheese for its creamy consistency) and add about ¼ cup of milk.  Now personally I prefer to use a hand mixer, you know the one you plug in w/ the 2 beaters… Whip the potatoes until just smooth, but don’t overwork them b/c they’ll become gummy and gummy potatoes are mediocre at best!  Now taste them. What do they need in your opinion: salt, pepper, Slavo Salt, blue cheese, or more milk to loosen them up???

Slice your Prime rib about half an inch thick – be sure to remove the strings.  Lay your taters and spinach out and allow your fellow diners to build their own plates.

To drink…

I recommend a bottle of heavy red wine like a David Bruce petite syrah, Chateau St. Michelle cabernet, etc.

Cheers

slavo

So, the holiday season is upon us!  I love this time of year pretty much for the meals consumed, huge lavish affairs with old standbys that never get old, the family member that has a bit too much vino and makes an ass of themselves, over-eating and watching football games – you know what I’m talking about. 

As I have said before, my family doesn’t partake in the most conventional of holiday feasts – in fact we passed legislation a few years ago that we would systematically replace mediocre standard dishes with new more interesting ones.  Let me tell you, this makes it a hell of a lot more fun both to cook and to eat!  So for the next few weeks I’m going to give you some ideas of dishes that are a bit outside the box.  I highly recommend trying these in smaller batches before your big day – nothing is worse than trying something new and it not working out for a big feast!  Good luck and as always if you have any questions or need some suggestions – email me at slavo@slavosalt.com.

Potato Gnocchi – My favorite pasta of all time!

In a pot, bring water and 3 pounds of peeled Yukon Gold Potatoes to a boil. Simmer until tender (’til they can be easily pierced with a paring knife). Pass potatoes through a potato ricer (use a ricer - whipping/mashing the potatoes will make them too gooey).  Mix in 4 tablespoons of butter. Season with Slavo Salt.

On a clean counter-top, place 1/3 cup of flour and then put your potatoes on top of the flour.  Next  take 2/3 cup of flour and dump on top of the potatoes.  Now make a crater in the pile of flour and potatoes – like a volcano.  Add 2 eggs into the “crater.” 

With your hands, fold and kneed the dough until everything is completely incorporated.  Add flour if the dough is too gooey (it doesn’t need to be totally dry but definitely not overly sticky).  Do not over mix – just keep folding and kneading the dough  maybe 7-10 minutes until it forms a nice ball.  Sprinkle flour on work surface. Break the ball of dough into quarters or smaller if you don’t have a lot of space. 

Roll the dough into long, thin tubes (approximately one-inch diameter), and cut into bite-size pieces about 1 inch long.  Blanch 20 piece batches in salted, boiling water for about 1 minute or until gnocchi float.  With a slotted spoon or mesh spider pull the floating gnocchi out of the water and dump them into a bowl of ice water (this is done to stop the cooking process – “BLANCHING”).  Cool completely on oiled sheet pan in the fridge (you can also freeze these at this stage to be used later!).  When you’re ready to serve them just drop them back into boiling salted water until they begin to float (best way to tell they’re done is to pop one out and bite into it).

You can serve gnocchi with nearly any type of cream sauce or pan fry them in some butter w/ garlic and fresh herbs.

Rainbow Chard with Pine Nuts, Golden Raisins & Serrano Ham 

Preheat your oven to 350°.  Place 1/4 cup of raw pine nuts onto a cookie sheet and pop into the oven for about 10 minutes.  When toasting nuts, you should pay very close attention and set a timer a couple minutes early because it is ridiculously easy to burn them and then you have to start over (this happens with my family almost every time this is attempted so don’t feel bad if you do burn them.)  Once the nuts begin to turn a little golden get ready to pull them out, once they start to turn - they will go REALLY fast.  Once light brown pull them out and sprinkle with a little kosher salt.  Let them sit and cool.

Wine Steeped Raisins:  Combine 3/4 cup of golden rasins, 1/4 piece of star anise, and 1 whole clove (the spice) into a mason jar or in a bowl.  Bring 1 cup of Sauvignon Blanc to a boil in a small sauce pan.  Once boiling pour the wine over the raisins and spices and let them cool to room temperature (about 30 minutes or so).  These can be made ahead of time and refrigerated for up to a month.  Remove the star anise, clove, and remaining liquid before serving.

Take 5 pounds of Rainbow or Swiss chard and wash well.  With a knife cut the stems away from the leaves.  Cut the stems into 1-inch strips crosswise.  You need about 2 cups of stems for this recipe, throw out the rest.  Stack the leaves neatly and cut them into about 2-3 inch strips, set aside.

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil.  Add the chard stems and blanch until tender but not soft, about 3-4 minutes.  Drain and allow stems to cool.

With this next step you can either use 2 large pans or make 2 separate batches in the same pan – up to you.  Pour about 2 tablespoons of canola oil into your pan over medium heat.  Add 1 tablespoon of minced garlic to the oil and reduce the heat to medium-low – cook until garlic is softened and just begins to lightly brown (1 minute max).  Add 1/4 of your chard leaves to the pan and salt lightly – cook and stir for about 3-5 minutes over medium heat or until the chard reduces in size by half.  Add another 1/4 of your chard leaves and 1/2 of the cooked stems to the pan and cook until wilted and tender – about 15-20 minutes total.  After 10 minutes of cooking add in about 2 tablespoons of Serrano ham cut into 1/4 inch strips (you can sub cooked bacon strips here if you can’t find Serrano).  Toss in your toasted pine nuts and 1/4 cup of the raisins.  Taste your creation – does it need more salt, pepper, Slavo Salt?

For those of you who do not know me very well – I’m a walking contradiction.  This is not because I am lacking foundation of character, but rather I look at the world minute by minute.  Examples:  I smoke a pack of heart-darts a day, yet I believe they should be taxed to $50 per pack.  I love working hard, but enjoy sitting and spacing out just as much.  I hate gambling, yet cannot pass a roulette table without laying 50 on red.  I shiver at the thought of stepping foot in a church – yet have a chat with El Jefe nightly.  And lastly, I believe we should monitor what we put into our bodies, treating it as a temple.  Yet when I wanna binge eat – watch the fuk out, man.  This brings me to my point – embracing your inner porker.  To me, this means being mindful of what I eat and drink most of the time, but when you get the urge – limitations do not exist.  Is this a bad thing?  Maybe but it’s my way. 

Am I encouraging you to eat fattening, artery clogging shit everyday?  Hell no, my countrymen obviously need no assistance in that category.  The sheer size of America’s waistline is sickening, I understand (not really) the tendency for those of us who are shackled to desks all day to sit and snack on chips, sodas, Snickers… etc.  We eat out of boredom, or as an excuse to get up from our desks for a minute to waddle our fat asses to the vending machine.  This is in large part due to our economy moving away from an agrarian one to that of a consumption based economy.  Manual labor used to be just called work – now work is sitting at a desk punching keys.

The thing that really pisses me off  is when I wait at a crosswalk for a child so fat it would almost be faster to lay it on its side and roll them across.  When I was a child I was small, really small in overall height and weight – this was in part to my slow developing gene pool – but also because I was only inside my house to sit down for dinner or to go to bed.  The rest of the time I was climbing trees, riding my bike/skateboard (without a helmet because my parents weren’t overprotective stooges), running, playing, and exploring the world around me.  Unfortunately that world no longer exists – instead our youth are confined to their Xbox and PS3’s.  Children today are trained to be hermits by their over-protective parents - fearful they’ll get hurt or kidnapped by some predator they met online.  Guess what peeps, teach you kids “stranger Danger,” how to tuck and roll, and to learn from their mistakes.  Don’t coddle them.  Don’t make them think the world is out to get them and that the outside  is a bad place.  It’s not, the world is the same place it has been for centuries – bad people and bad shit exists, always has always will.  Unplug the fukn computer, turn off the TV, and send them outside to run, play, scream, fall down, get back up and repeat.  Technology is not a babysitter.  Teachers are not meant to be parents – that’s your job and if you don’t like it wear a damn jimmy hat!

Wow sorry got really fired up there!  The whole point to this is eat well and live a healthy lifestyle, but when you do splurge – eat something hella good not Frito’s and bean dip.  Like I said earlier I’m a walking contradiction – so here are a couple of my favorite  foods to escape with:

Zoo Food

Take animal crackers and place a healthy spoonful of peanut butter on top.  Now place 1-2 chocolate chips on top.  Next pop those little babies into the microwave for about 20 seconds or until the chips begin to melt.  And now you have Zoo Food.

World’s Best Milk Shake

Get your blender out and dust that puppy off.  Fill the blender with about 1 cup of ice – I like this because you don’t need as much ice cream and makes it not so creamy (that’s what she said).  Now dump a healthy dose of Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup – I go with about a 5 second squeeze (you can always add more later if that’s what you’re into).  Now fill the rest of the blender up with vanilla bean ice cream.  Take some malted milk – about 3 healthy teaspoons worth into the blender.  Here is the secret ingredient:  3-4 Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies.  Crush them up and dump them into the blender.  Now pour about 1-2 cups of skim milk in too.  Blend the crap out of that stuff.  You will probably need to stir it up and blend some more.  Give this a try – it’s awesome!!!

Air-Popped Goodness: Courtesy of Blake Sullivan

Air-popped popcorn is the shit and a much healthier alternative for my favorite snack!  Go to your local superstore and buy an air popper.  They don’t cost more than $20 and lasts forever – I’ve had mine for 12 years!  OK, so you will need popcorn kernels they come in either a bag or a jar and cost nothing.  Pop 1/4 cup of popcorn into a big bowl.  Now melt 2 tablespoons of butter in the microwave and drizzle ove the popcorn.  Shake the bowl around as you drizzle so you don’t saturate one area too much.  Next take some Crystal or Louisiana Hot Sauce (you can use others, I just like these) and lightly drizzle over the popcorn, again while shaking the bowl.  Next sprinkle about 2-3 teaspoons of Slavo Salt over the bowl.  This in conjunction with the milkshake above is retarded good!

Grilled Cheese Heart Attack

Get some good sourdough bread that’s sliced thick or even better – buy a whole loaf and slice it yourself about 1/2 inch thick.  Now buy some St. Andreas Triple Cream Brie, Gruyere, and Emmental Swiss Cheeses.  Evenly distribute the 3 cheeses over the bread and make a sandwich.  Now melt a little butter in a frying pan over medium heat.  Lay the sando in the pan and cook for about 5-10 minutes or until the bread is golden brown.  Flip it over and repeat – after a couple minutes, using a spatula press down on the top of the sandwich, compressing the cheeses together and making it more manageable to eat.  When the second side is golden brown remove from the pan and cut in half.  Enjoy this with either a glass of ice cold milk or a glass of Ravens-Wood Red Zinfandel.

Please feel free to respond with any of your secret binge foods!  Thanks and have a great weekend!

Cheers

Avocado Enchiladas with Cilantro Lime Cream Sauce

This is a great vegetarian recipe and is actually quite easy to make!  Don’t be scared off by the length of the recipe – you can easily throw these together in 29 minutes.  Take that Rachel Ray!

Cilantro Lime Cream Sauce

Take 1/2 of a yellow or white onion and 3 fresh garlic cloves and rough chop them (don’t worry about how pretty your dice looks unless you’d just like to practice – which you should).  In a small pot over medium-high heat melt 4 Tablespoons of butter (1/2 stick) and add in the onion and garlic.  Stir constantly until the onion is translucent.  Next add in 1 cup of silver (clear) tequila – use good booze because cheap shit tastes like shit.  Continue cooking over medium-high heat until the liquid is reduced by 75%.  You want to make sure all of the alcohol has been cooked off – best way to check is to stand back and hold a flame over the pot, if an explosion occurs, the alcohol isn’t cooked off yet; just let it burn as this will remove any remaining alcohol.  Now add in 1/2 bunch of fresh cilantro whole - stems and all.  Add 1 pint of heavy cream (milk should not be substituted because it won’t get thick enough).  Cook over the heat stirring so as not to scorch the bottom of the pot and reduce by about 25% or more – this will make the sauce begin to thicken.  After about 10-15 minutes or so, remove from the heat.  Pass the sauce through a chinoise or sieve (use a strainer if you haven’t bought a chinoise yet – if you want to become proficient at sauce making buy one! In America sauce is KING).  Add the juice of 1-2 limes – this is based on your taste preference.  Season with Slavo Salt to your liking.  I like to finish this sauce w/ a tablespoon of butter and a couple tablespoons of fresh cilantro chopped fine.   Keep this sauce warm.

Avocado mix – aka Guacamole

I love guacamole and have been making it this way for a long long time (maybe one of the first things I ever learned to make – my mother still contests her’s is better which it is not but I love my mom; so if the subject ever comes up tell her’s is better) and it ROCKS!   

Take 3 ripe avocados – ripe ones are squeezable, not mushy and not capable of breaking a car window.  Cut the avo’s in half, carefully remove the seed and scoop the goodness out of the skin with a spoon into a bowl.  Next take 2 heaping tablespoons of Pace Picante Chunky Salsa into the bowl (this is the secret).  Squeeze the juice of 1/2 lime into the bowl.  Now either with a potato masher or fork/spoon, mash up the avo’s and mix everything together.  Now toss in 1-2 tablespoons of fresh cilantro chopped VERY FINE and mix together.  Taste the mix, add in Slavo Salt (secret #2), mix and taste.  Add lime juice and Slavo Salt until the Guac is to your liking.  That’s it – I dare you to give me an easier or tastier Guacamole recipe!!!  Rick Bayless – you got nothin’ on me here amigo.

Enchiladas

Use white or yellow corn tortillas – flour tortillas don’t work well.  Warm up a couple tortillas at a time so they are easier to roll and don’t break up.  Lay a tortilla out in front of you and scoop 1/3 cup of guacamole and lay it down the center of the tortilla.  Roll it up like a Fruit Rollup.  Place in a baking dish folded side down.  Continue doing this until the pan is full or guacamole is used up.  Pour a light amount of the cream sauce over the rolled enchiladas and place in a 375° oven until the sauce begins to bubble a bit (maybe 10-15 minutes max).  Remove from oven.  With a spatula remove the individual rolls onto a plate.  Next pour some more of the sauce over them and enjoy!

These go great with refried beans and Spanish rice.  No recipes needed, go to the store and get a can of beans with a box of rice and call it good.

I recommend either an ice cold Pacifico or margarita with this dish.